NaNoWriMo 2010

Last year, I discovered NaNoWriMo, an awesome challenge to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. The challenge begins at 12:01am on November 1 and ends at 11:59pm on November 30.
[details: http://www.nanowrimo.org/]

I participated in 2009, and finished - last minute, yes; but it still counted - a little over 50k before the stroke of midnight on the last day of November. I didn't write every single day, but my progress was pretty steady. Real estate was slow, and I was okay with that, as writing filled my down time. I began to dream of going back to school to get my master's in creative writing. After November, I wrote with some frequency...

Until this May, when I got a part-time job at our church as I phased my way out of real estate. [yeah; that's another post for another day] Now, I'm at an actual office three days per week, and those days are bu-sy. Don't get me wrong; I'm absolutely loving the job, and so excited to have it. But it has been an adjustment, losing 20 hours of what was essentially "free" time, during which I did important things like laundry, housecleaning, kid-corralling [blog updates] and writing. Additionally, mine isn't the only schedule to experience significant change in the past few months - with the kids starting school, and extracurricular activities taking wing, we do a lot of running around.

So, here I am, past the halfway point for NaNoWriMo 2010, and I am about 7,500 words behind the suggested word count for today.Wait; it's after midnight - make that nearly 10k behind. I wouldn't worry, but I have zero confidence in my story right now. Writing has become a struggle; a struggle that I would normally embrace, but I have no extra time or brain capacity to spare. This year, NaNoWriMo is less a challenge, more an agonizing struggle or a battle that I am nowhere near winning.

The beauty of NaNo is that it is a challenge for which the prize is bragging rights. To be able to say, "I did it!" is extremely empowering. Dictionary.com defines a challenge as "a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc." - for me, NaNoWriMo is a call to engage in a contest of skill, strength and creativity. Pushing myself beyond the boundaries of what I know I can do, and forcing me to dig deep to learn what more I am capable of doing. Encouraging me to turn off my "inner editor", that voice that interrupts the writing process with a snide "that's stupid" or "lame!" - at least, until the novel is done.

I don't know if I will reach my goal of 50k words before midnight on November 30. I do know that I will continue, despite the self-doubt, the time constraints, the doldrums of ineptitude, to try.